Saturday, December 11, 2004

Helping Teens to Select Friends

It's selfevident that you really care deeply about your teen. This is apparently a problem of longstanding. To be honest, it does not seem that you are going to be able to "solve" it,and to ask yourself to do this is simply not fair. Every teenager goes through exactly this same problem of friendship-selection. And with cancers and libras, with all their tenderness and vulnerabilities, these challenges and situations are multiplied. My advice is to take an hour, a full hour, out from everything else. Set it aside for only interaction with your teen. Let her know that you have set aside this important, rather large, period of time in your schedule because you truly love her. Invite your companion to join you. Then, taking your time, tell her in an unhurried manner that you love her, and want to support whatever is best for her. Explain to her the karmic consequences in which we believe, and the consequences of giving fullest, honest, sincere Love, and the consequences of ignoring or neglecting Love. So, Love is something that you do out of "alloagapic" motives (Love for others) as well as autoagapic intentions (Love for yourself).

Again, unhurried (for this is seldom heard on the first run-through), explain carefully that you want to be your teen's friend. Tell her that you have been good friends for centuries (which is true), and that you treasure your friendship, and want to make it deeper and richer. Offer your most sincere friendship, should she ever need someone to talk to. Remain detached but warm. Remain helpful, non-controlling, and non-judgmental. Don't get mushy (easy task for capricorn). Tell her that it is not part of your job to "control" her or to lifedesign for her, but that you are always ready to share the very hard-won wisdom obtained by you during your longer life. Share this with both your companion and teen simultaneously. If possible, close with a warm three-way hug.

You and your companion, no matter how sincere and deep your Love, will not be able to "save" your teen from her karma, or from life's lessons. Her lifedesign is her job and your companion's, since he is her father, and you are not her mother. This is not your problem. Only Love has "lassoed" you into this, and so, life has given you the great gift of a special opportunity to express compassion. So, you can be a powerful Love-source for your teen. This is your only "job" here: Just be there for her; don't try to solve her problems (that is her soultraining lesson), and don't try to force her to change. Encourage change, and share supportive and uplifting positivity. Encourage her to believe in the Power of Love, as we do. Make it clear that Love is lightyears beyond sex, and that Love is our God. Mystics worship Love, and so, you will do anything possible-- as long as it is not illegal, immoral, or fattening:)-- to aid and assist your teen. Then, let go and let God, trusting your teen's own personal connection with Love, which is the same as your own.

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