Sunday, August 14, 2005

Selecting Quality Friends


Life is largely a matter of sorting, filtering, and change. Sorting means that we must sort out, from all acquaintances and strangers, those who give us energy. Finding friends of excellence is like fishing: At the end of the day, the fisher brings in a bushel basket full of fish, and throws away those that are diseased, polluted, etc. We must also engage in continual sorting of people. Since there are six thousand million people, and no one can be "friends" with all, this is not snobbery. It is just a fact of life.

We can gently disengage ourselves, with kindness, from the people who draw or drain energy. No one has so much energy of Mind that she can afford "leaks" and drainage. So, we must gently urge to move on those who might bring consistent negativity into our lives. As you could not long tolerate a friend who took only a dollar a day out of your bank-account, even though a dollar is not much, you cannot afford persistent or consistent withdrawals from your personal energy-allotment.

You need to get clarity and detachment. So, after meditation, when you feel clear, ask yourself whether it is worth the investment of your energy to keep the relationship with Mike [pseudonym] going. You might come up with more pluses or more minuses. Write them down, and try to be objective.

If there are more pluses, increase communication. You don't want to eradicate or erase a relationship simply because you are in a bad or sad mood, or are having a bad day. But if a relationship is consistently hurting your feelings, if it feels as if you are losing selfesteem, if it is negative, or if it harms your body, mind, or heart-- and if this is regular and consistent-- you probably need gently to disengage.

If you must, be careful to do this with as much gentleness, tenderness, kindness, and courtesy as possible. You do not want to come to hate one whom you have loved.

If the situation is not quite so dark, increase honest communication. Tell Mike honestly what you want and need, and why. Tell him what he is not giving you, and why you feel this way. Do not threaten or give ultimatums, but keep it friendly.

But no matter what happens, in the end, the choice is yours.

Life is "filtration." we must continually "filter" out of our lives those objects, memories, and sometimes people who harm us. This is never easy.

At times, what seems on a late sleepless night like a major catastrophe is only a normal "bump in the road." If this is the case, no action is necessary, but to increase communications is always good. Emphasize Love, and use Love to get any message across. Far too many intimate communications take the form of attacks and defense, going nowhere fast.

The universe changes. Everything, and everyone, changes. A reading is only a kind of "photograph" representing that moment in time. It is sensed that there is still some good, some Love, in this relationship. If so, do all that you can to retrieve, repair, and maintain that. If the relationship is worth preserving, lay on the Love, and lay it on "thickly"! Try to relax and let Love flow through you; you do not have to "create" Love or "make it happen.":)

You have a clear fork in the road in front of you. Clear thought, with detachment, with the right questions, the right answers, and careful analysis of what you have and what you need, will provide your answers.

No comments: