Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Your Interior Child


Psychologists have long known that a part of your mind simply stopped growing and learning when you were about five years old. This they call the "inner" or "interior child."

Despite its age, this interior child is still a part of your present mind. It is active, more or less, in your mind right now. Whenever you feel, or act, like a very young child, then the "interior child" has taken control! When you "act like a baby," you can be sure of it!

This part of your mind can be a lot of fun! When you enter a state of pure, silent wonder or surprise -- when, for example, you marvel at the beauty of a flower, rainbow, or puppy, without inhibitions -- this is the positive use of your "interior child." Also, when you therapeutically break down and laugh, and just "get silly" with a friend, this is also a positive and helpful use of the "interior child." These uses of your mind can make life uproariously fun!

But the "interior child" within can also ruin your life. How? If she (he) regulates your emotional responses, that is a catastrophe! If the "child" influences major decisions (choosing a Love-partner, making purchases, etc.) that is also a disaster.

In short, the interior child can ruin your life, or fill it with happiness and wonder.

What can you do to help, or to heal, yourself? First, you must realize that the "child" is NOT an "enemy." She (he) can be made into one of your best friends-- a way of selflove. In one popular exercise, you can imagine the form of your "child" and talk with her/him. Reassure her/him that she/he is loved and safe. You, as an adult, will be the "protector." Offer your friendship and Love unconditionally. "Tell" the "child" that, no matter what she ever does, you will love her; your Love is unconditional. Soothe her, and reassure her. (Many of us, especially females, have "wounded interior children." For, when we were very young, we might have been hurt, abandoned, or even sexually abused.) So, the interior child needs healing. And Love is the world's greatest healer.

If you have a "best friend," you do not ignore her. In fact, you talk with her all the time. So, during the day and night, converse, in simple language, with your interior child. CAUTION: This is all symbolic activity. It is not healthy to regard your interior child as "someone else," except symbolically, for the purposes of selfhealing. She is a part of you, not another person. So, please keep this in mind whenever you "converse with" your interior child, and when you picture her in your mind.

Making friends with the interior child can prevent her trying to "take over" in stressful situations. For example, when you get into a conflictive disagreement or argument, you might want simply to shout, scream, cry, or withdraw. These are all the reaction-responses of the interior child; so, they are all unhealthy. Instead, when you have a disagreement -- especially a strong emotional one -- you want to tap into the part of your mind called the "interior adult." This part of your mind is reasonable, and expresses well in words, reason, logic, and communication. Discuss your problems, feelings, and thoughts.

There is yet another part of your mind that psychology does not generally recognize. This is the interior Spirit. It is manifested whenever you love, or respond with loving words or deeds. This is the highest and best part of your mind. As often as possible, we want our lifedesigns and lifepatterns to reflect this deeper Part of our minds. You can use the interior Spirit to heal the interior child. You can also use It to make the rest of your life richer, brighter, warmer, and more fun. It is a beautiful event when the interior Spirit takes the hand of the interior child, and both smile.

1 comment:

Bruce Larson*Moore said...

The child's lesson is only slowed by the constructs of choice, he/r growth can be fully supported throughout ones life span by the choice of one, each spirit is born of this free will, it is taken by one giving it to others.