Long-term Love and Commitment

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Life is, unfortunately, never easy. It is most difficult of all when a friendship, or a Love-relationship, is involved. In this area, we are in the way-adult, university exams of this life, for these are the most difficult challenges of all.

For another even to try to answer these complex questions for us would be to enable our weakness, and to impede or retard our personal spiritual growth. So, we are not allowed to "cheat" on this exam. Neither I, nor any other adult, is allowed to share the answers, even if we knew them. I have found the answers for my own exams, but not for yours. Only a fool, or hypocrite, or very selfrighteous person, would even claim to have your answers.

But this much can be said with no doubt: One reason that you have been put on earth is to learn to love Sue [pseudonym]. This does not necessarily mean that she is to be your exclusive Love-partner, although she might be. (This part must be discovered by you, through personal exploration of your life with Sue. You must discuss the issue openly and candidly, and at great depth, with her. You must clearly determine, through repeated and deep conversation, whether she is right for you, or you for her.)

We have already discovered a few astropsychological reasons why this path might be naturally difficult, challenging, or stressful for you. For she is not your "natural" lover; and this might be a signal from the soulworld.

You implied, by recent activities, that this is the conclusion to which life itself has taken you.

Nothing is more natural in Love than taking a path and later regretting it.

To find certainty, you must use that fine capricorn-mind to list, and then to consider reasonably, all the factors:

Do you want to spend the rest of this life "locked" int a monogamous (sexually exclusive and faithful) relationship with Sue? Can she really fulfill all your long-term needs, and you hers? Does she fulfill most of your intellectual and emotional needs? Do you fulfill hers?

It has often been said that, if you must ask whether you are "in Love," then the answer is no. For your heartmind knows you better than any other; you are, and always will be, the world's foremost "expert" on Jack Jones [pseudonym]. So, the heart has a deep wisdom of its own.

Even so, you cannot afford simply to "leap before you look." So, this issue of Love must be analyzed reasonably, although reason cannot be your only guide. You must also pay attention to what your capricorn emotions are telling you: What do you feel is the correct and best course?

Do you want, more than anything else, to spend the rest of your life giving your heart to Sue? Before it can work, you must passionately, scorpionically, want to do this. And you must want it more than anything. For if you do not have a passionate desire to do this, chances are good that yor soulmind is reluctant, or reticent; and if it is, this might not be your true "calling." In order for it to be real, a Love must move, indeed drive, you with irresistible passion.

Take an interior inventory, by asking yourself whether this passion is present, and then, whether it is real: Is it a long-term feeling, or a momentary scorpionic sexual desire? If the latter, it will not, and cannot, last a lifetime.

Bonding is so much more than sexual passion, although that must also be a part of it.

Now, back to loving Sue: Even if she is not your soul-partner, and more surely if she is, you must treat her with compassion, friendliness, courtesy, and kindness-- that is, with Love. Even if it turns out that she is not, you do not have the right voluntarily or deliberately to harm her, or to brutalize her. (It is known that you would never do this, for you are a civilized man of Love.)

So, visualize yourself committed to a long-term (decades long) relationship with Sue, and see how you think and feel about this condition; that will give you your answer: How does the mind think, and the heart feel? Be as honest with yourself as possible, and your answer will come. And please remember that, even after you have found it, there is no reason to assume that even this clear answer is set in stone. You are a verb, capable of, and deserving the right to, change.
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