Once in a while, the Goddess of Love gives us great gifts. One example is the return of the Goddess of flowers in springtime. But a better example is a moment of "illumination."
Enlightenment usually occurs gradually, by the accumulation of moments of illumination. [In Zen, these are called ken-sho, while final enlightenment is called satori. (This is an equivalent of the state of samadhi mentioned in Hindu mystical literature.)]
An example of the Power of illumination is what occurred with you. From deep within, the Spirit directly taught you important lessons about not controlling-- a nucleus of Taoism; it also taught you about faith, trust, and the interior world-dreamer (Goddess) who, in the final analysis, controls everything, making it necessary for us to control nothing personally.
In Jesus' famous words, "live as little children," in the original language, the word did not mean "little children"; it meant "nursing infants."
So, enlightened people do not live like five-year-olds; instead, they live with the full trust and faith of an infant clinging to its mother. The infant relaxes, knowing that the mother knows where she is going, and trusting that she will carry the infant to a good place, not a harmful or dangerous one. This is very similar to the attitude towards the caring universe developed in enlightenment: It is a friendly and supportive universe, ruled by Love.
That is why, in the most "Taoist" of his many sermons, the famous Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells his followers to live as the flowers or the birds-- without fear, worry or control. God (Goddess) will take care of everything, and we need to trust, not to wrest control from God and try, like most people, to control the whole universe! (We are not up to the task, and are incapable of it.)
When we learn this important fact, that we do not and cannot control anything or anyone, for it is our responsibility to control only our responses, then a huge burden is lifted from our backs. Life becomes easy and pleasant, as we are no longer carrying this heavy weight.
We find that we can live with, and even enjoy, stillness. We do not always have to be "superbusy," which is a way of running from life. This arises from fear, and makes fear our master. Since fear is of the lower nature, alien to the higher, we become servants of the lower nature, eclipsing and hiding the higher nature of pure Love. Before long, negative habits take root, and we become spiritually unproductive, paralyzed and petrified. Our growth and development stop, "on hold," and no progress is made.
It is great that your own heartmind is actively growing, proved by your illumination.:)
When we see these truths, and feel them in the heart, we then revise our personal desire-structure. For, although desire promises heaven, it leads straight to various hellstates of dissatisfaction and unfulfillment. Tranquility disappears in the rush of hyperbusiness and leaves us clueless.
Spirituality takes time, energy, and attention. It happens only when and if we permit or allow it. But, like fine flowers, it requires active cultivation, and active attention. Also, like the flowers, it is natural and will grow if we give it a little time.
One way of improvement is that we begin to improve our environments, as mentioned in your correspondence. In an art called feng shui, pronounced "fung shway," we rid our lives of all clutter and excess.
For every item in your home either gives you energy or takes it away (draining you). So, it is necessary, and fun, always to surround ourselves with only items that we like or love. If we do this, every item will be energy-giving and energy-supporting, and will help us to combat fatigue, boredom, illness, and other unproductive or depressive states. So, try to decorate with sculptures, statues, paintings, fountains, chimes, music, and other items that you truly love, that speak
to your deeper Mind, that bring joy and satisfaction, tranquility and fun! This path, now respected worldwide, begins with the elimination of clutter. It means getting rid of anything that contributes to our sadness, and keeping only items that contribute to happiness. What could be more fun?:):)
Again, congratulations on your being open to interior revelations given by the Goddess of Love, for She always has much to say, but we have forgotten how to listen. Blessed is she who remembers how to listen.